You are pregnant. You’ve peed on the pregnancy test, scheduled your first appointment with your ob/gyn or midwife, started shopping for the nursery, and are ordering those adorable aden + anais swaddle blankets. Next up on the list-hiring a doula. But you wonder-what will my partner think about having a doula? And your partner wonders-do we really need a doula? Will they replace me? Do we really want another person with us during this time?
These are really common questions that we commonly hear or come across. We can say with emphatic delight, partners LOVE having a doula! If they were doubtful before, they are full blown believers by the time your baby comes. Here are seven reasons why partners love having a doula!
Your partner knows you, doulas know birth
Your partner knows nearly everything about you, right down to how you got that scar above your eyebrow when you were in second grade. Your doula knows how to support you both during birth. We are familiar with labor, birth, pushing, that crazy placenta, and the hospital in which you are birthing. When we combine your partner’s knowledge of you, with your doula’s knowing of birth support, BAM! Awesome good things happen!
We catch the throw up
This always makes every parent to be nod and look relieved. Your doula is a expert vomit catcher. For real. We know where to grab that bucket in your labor and delivery room, or grab a bowl or trash can at home so fast, it’s like we are magic. Relax and let us handle the nausea and vomiting that often accompany labor.
Your partner can eat without guilt
One of the things we tell partners is that you can’t serve from an empty cup. You have to take care of yourself, in order to take care of others, true words for nearly anything in life. With a doula by your side, partners can eat, take breaks, use the bathroom, catch up with family in the waiting room, or just do a few laps around the hospital if you need to. Partners can feel at ease knowing you are being attended to by your doula!
They can even take a much needed labor nap
One of the things we love to do, if the moment is right, is tuck your partner into bed, whether at home or at the hospital or birth center, and let them catch a few zzzz’s. We grab a pillow, a blanket from the blanket warmer at the hospital (those blankets feel SO good!) and let them grab a couple of hours rest if needed. Labor is often long, sometimes very long, and unpredictable. We can stay up and provide expert labor support to you, while your partner rests. Then they wake up, fresh and energized, ready to be by your side!
Your partner will love the reassurance
Another thing partners love during labor is all the reassurance they get from us. This is normal. Yep, totally normal. This is what transition usually looks like. Cussing? Normal. All that shaking? That’s normal too. Saying she never wants to have a baby again, you do it next time? Normal. All that weird breathing and moaning and chanting with contractions? Normal and an awesome way to cope through labor. Your doula helps your partner feel at ease during your birth.
We help your partner feel confident
Who doesn’t want to feel confident? Childbirth can be intimidating, scary, long, hard to understand. Partners can feel more confident with a doula by their side. We help them help you. Their emotional connection with you is the most important part; we help fill in with childbirth education, what to expect next, and assuring them when they feel uncertain. Also, doulas help partners with the physical aspect of labor too-we can both do massages and counter pressure and double hip squeezes, as a team. Together, your partner’s confidence will soar!
Your partner can relax
One thing we hear from partners time and again, is how much more they relaxed and enjoyed the birth experience when having us present with them. The pressure is off. With a doula by your side, your partner doesn’t have to remember everything about early labor, active labor, and transition-we can help remind you of what you learned in your childbirth education classes, and guide them along the way. Your partner will LOVE having an experienced doula in the room with them, to guide them (and you!) through the experience of labor and birth!
Ready to add a doula to your team? Contact us for a free consultation! Piedmont Doulas offers highly experienced, caring and nurturing birth doulas, who are ready to be a part of your team. We serve the Winston-Salem, Greensboro, High Point, Statesville and surrounding areas of the Piedmont Triad, NC.
As always, happy birthing!